ACURA: •
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile • Asia's
Curse Upon Rural America
AMC: • All Makes Combined
• A Major Cost • A Mutated Car • A Morons Car • Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI: • Always Unsafe Designs
Implemented • Accelerates Under
Demonic Influence • Automobile Under
Demonic Influence • Another Ugly Deutsche
Invention • Always Undermining
Deutsche Intelligence • Automobile Unsafe
Designs, Inc.
BMW: • Big Money Works • Bought My Wife • Brutal Money Waster
• Break My Window • Break My Windshield
• Babbling Mechanical
Wench • Beastly Monstrous
Wonder • Beautiful Masterpieces
on Wheels • Beautiful Mechanical
Wonder • Barely Moving Wreck
• Big Money Waste • Big Money. Why? • Big Money Works • Born Moderately Wealthy
• Breaks Most Wrenches
• Bring Many Wrenches
• Brings Me Women • Brings More Women
• Broken Money Waster
• Broke My Wallet • Broken Monstrous
Wonder • Bumbling Mechanical
Wretch • Blasphemous Motorized
Wreck
BUICK: • Big Ugly Indestructible
Car Killer • Big Ugly Imitation
Chrome King
Camaro: Can A Mechanic
Actually Repair One??
CHEVROLET: • Can Hear Every Valve
Rap On Long Extended Trips • Cheap, Hardly Efficient,
Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time • Cracked Heads, Every
Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time • Constantly Having
Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
DODGE: • Drips Oil, Drops
Grease Everywhere • Dead Old Dog Going East
• Dead On Day Guarantee
Expires • Dead On Delivery,
Go Easy • Dead On Delivery,
Guarantee Expired • Dead Or Dying Garbage
Emitter • Dear Old Dads Garage
Experiment
EDSEL: Every Day Something
Else Leaks
FIAT: • Failure in Italian
Automotive Technology • Fix It Again, Tony!
• Fix It All the Time
• Feeble Italian Attempt
at Transportation
FORD: • Frigin' Old Rebuilt
Dodge • Fix Or Repair Daily
• Found On Road Dead
• Fast Only Rolling
Downhill • First On Race Day
• First On Recall Day
• Fabricated Of Refried
Dung • Fails On Rainy Days
• Fatally Obese Redneck
Driver • Fault Of R&D
• Finally Obsolete
Racing Device • Fireball On Rear
Denting • First On Road to
Dump • First On Rust and
Deterioration • Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
• Flipping Over Results
in Death • Flipped Over Roadside
Disaster • Follow Our Rusty
Dogsled • Foot On Road Decelerates
• Forced On Reluctant
Drivers • Formed Of Rejected
DNA • Forwarded Once; Return
Denied • Forward Only; Reverse
Defective • Forlorn, Old, Ratridden
Dustbin • Fork Over Repair
Dough • Fouled Out Re-done
Dodge • Frequent Overhaul,
Rapid Deterioration • Free Or Reduced Drastically
• Frequent Opinion:
Really Disappointed • Fumes and Odors Readily
Detectable • Funny Old Rattling
Dump • (backwards) Driver
Returns On Foot
GEO: Good Engineering
Overlooked
GM: • General Maintenance
• Great Mistake • Garbage Motors • Generally Miserable
• Grossly Misconceived
• Gluteus Maximus • Good Money
GMC: • Garage Man's Companion
• Gotta Mechanic Coming?
• Generally Mediocre
Cars • Get More Chicks • Gets Mechanics Crazy
• Gods Mechanical Curse
• Got More Crap • Great Mountain Climber
• Great Motor Car
GTO: Gas, Tires, Oil
HONDA: • Had One Never Did
Again • Hang On, Not Done
Accelerating • Hallmark Of Non-Descript
Automobiles • Hallmark Of Non-Destructable
Automobiles
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand
Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
JEEP: • Just Eats Every Part
• Just Empty Every
Pocket • Junk Engineering
Executed Poorly
MAZDA: Most Always
Zipping Dangerously Along
M.G.: Money Guzzler
MGB: Might Go Backwards
MGF: Might Go Forward
MIATA: My Intention:
Always To Accelerate
MOPAR • Many Odd Parts Arranged
Randomly • Miscellaneous Oddball
Parts Assembled Ridiculously • Most Often Passed
At Races • Mostly Old Parts
And Rust • Move Over People
Are Racing • Move Over Plymouth
Approaching Rapidly • My Old Pig Ain't
Running • My Only Problems
Are Repairs
MUSTANG: Motor Under
Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE: • Old Ladies Driving
Slowly, Making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday • Overpriced, Leisurely
Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PINTO: • Put In Nickel To
Operate • Paid Inspector Nicely
To Overlook
PONTIAC: Poor Old Numbskull
Thinks Its A Cadillac
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich
Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB: • Send Another Automobile
Back • Swedish Automobiles
Always Breakdown • Sad Attempt At Beauty
• Sorry Auto, Always
Broken • Shape Appears Ass-Backwards
SUBARU: Screwed Up
Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA: • Too Often Yankees
Overprice This Auto • The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH: • This Really Is Unreliable
Man, Please Help! • Tried Repairing It
Until My Parts Hurt!
