If you wake up in
the morning to an alarm clock that says "Gentlemen Start your engines" with
a motor sound behind it.
If you refer to
going to the bathroom as a "Pit Stop".
Men, While going
to the bathroom you swirl it in a left hand circle.
If you have a number
painted on the side of your car/truck.
If you put a yellow
stripe on the back of your teenagers car. .
If you have a conversation
with any "normal" person and no matter what number they say you can name
the driver.
If you only drive
down one way streets so you can make a tight left turn.
If you time yourself
at the gas station against another person filling up your tank.
If you consider
your Sunday Best to be a racing suit.
If you are in the
store and "bang" another shopper with a cart so they don't pass.
If you log on to
chat on the internet and your handle is anything like Wub2Race or LooseIntheCorner.
If you buy 4 new
tires when you have only one flat.
If you have ever
told a ex-girl/boy friend they didn't "Qualify".
If you are 1st at
a stop light in traffic an you look around and think you're sitting on the
pole.
If you tape the
races and watch it more than one time after that.
If you are at a
race and know what the lingo is on the scanners.
If you name your
baby after any driver and use Dale as the middle name.
If you know all
of the states and towns names of where the tracks are.
If you pass somebody
by while walking and in your mind think "lapped him".
If you can remember
the date of Daytona at the start of each season but not your wives/hubby
birthday.
If you tell yourr
children they have been black flagged when they get in trouble.
If you can name
the year and track of regular drivers 1st wins and not remember your wedding
anniversary.
If you have gone
to an auto parts store and asked for the window tear off film.
If the doors on
your car/truck work fine and you still crawl in and out of the window.
If you go to Walmart
once a week with your spending money and buy NASCAR related stuff.
If you save your
extra money for tickets to a race instead of a vacation every year.
If you have the
NASCAR.com or RacinPortal.com website as your home page on the computer.
You run out of gas
and try to explain to the cop (who's giving you a sobriety test) your weaving
from lane to lane was just and attempt to get fuel into the pickup.
When you have an
accident, the first thing you try to do is pull off the steering wheel. The
next thing you do is blame Robby Gordon.
You're sitting behind
someone at a red light, and when it changes, you yell, "GREEN! GREEN! GREEN!
GO! GO! GO!"
You time yourself
on your wrist watch when you pull into the self serve gas n go.
On an interstate
exit ramp you stay on the outside to keep the RPM's up.
You make sure to
stay under 55 when you leave the gas pumps.
You say "But officer,
I wasn't tailgating, I was drafting"
You consider slower
cars in the left lane as "lapped traffic"
Before traffic begins
to resume regular speed on the highway, you find yourself weaving side to
side warming up the tires to optimal tempature.
You can't wait for
next year to see what Soap powder your favorite driver has as a sponsor because
the one he's got now keeps giving you a rash.
You drive for 2
hours out to the nearest Valvoline Quik Lube.
While explaining
to the officer why your car is smashed into the interstate ramps guardrail,
you explain: Well, the First National Bank/ Smith Family Chevy was running
great today. That blue Ford got in behind me, loosened me up , I drifted
high and the next I knew, I was in the wall, but......I don't blame the other
driver, heck, what can I say....that's racing!!
You have ever actually
yelled "YOU KISS MY A**" out the window of your car when you see a car with
a 24 sticker in the window.
You've ever pushed
little kids to the ground at Toy-R-Us to get to the Racing Champions cars
first.
You rearrange your
diecasts to match the grid during cautions.
You have a mini
winners circle for your diecasts.
You get caught stealing
the lifesize cut out of your favoritie driver from the local convience store.
You refer to the
family mini van as the "team hauler"
You hit the car
in front of you, and tell the officer "Rubbin is Racin!"
You've ever seriously
considered putting an "onboard camera" in your car.
You plan family
vacations around race dates.
When you pass someone
on the highway you refer to it as taking them on the inside.
You take your 4yr
old son with you because you need a spotter.
You sign up for
flu shots (at work) on Fridays so you can fake sick in order to get home
in time for qualifying.
After riding behind
the same two dumdums riding side by side for SOOOOooooo long, you decide
to make it three wide down the front stretch, and pass them in the emergency
lane ( after looking, of course)
Your buddy is passing
someone on the interstate, you're in the passanger seat yelling, "CAR HIGH!!!....CLEAR!!!"
You can get 12 cans
of beer, 4 quarts Gatorade, and 8 sandwiches into a 14" cooler and NOT squash
anything.
You think nothing
of getting up at 4am, driving for 5 hours, sitting in a traffic backup for
3 hours, baking in the sun, spending 5 hours to get out of the parking lot,
driving 5 hours home, getting up the next morning at 5am, going to work on
3 hours sleep, and telling everybody what a GREAT time you had!
