Indy cars look like
rocket ships. Stock cars look like the ones you wrecked last week and
still owe 12 payments on.
When Indy cars bump
into a wall, they explode. Stock cars slam against each other, bounce
off a concrete fence, do a double-back flip and keep going.
Indy fans are named
Biff and Buffy. Stock car fans are named BUBBA and Bonnie Sue.
Indy fans can name
all the Presidents. Most stock car fans can name the President.
Indy fans are fly fisherman.
Stock car fans belong to B.A.S.S.
Indy cars are assembled
by a team of Swiss and German scientists in a top secret laboratory in Geneva.
Stock cars are built in the back of Gomer's garage by men named Waddel, Junior,
and Banjo.
When an Indy car race
is over, drivers shake hands. When a stock car race is over, drivers
shake their fists.
Most Indy car fans
could not tell you who won last years race. Stock car fans can recite
every race winner,and what he had for breakfast for the last 30 years.
Indy car fans wont
leave home without American Express. Stock car fans wont leave home
without their drink coolers.
The Indy 500 has yet
to sell it's name to a corporate sponsor. . A stock car promoter will name
his race after a bathroom disinfectant, personal hygiene product or cat food
if the price is right
The average Indy car
driver looks like James Bond. The average stock car driver looks like
Indiana Jones.
Indy car drivers act
like they are doing you a favor if they glance your way. Stock car
drivers will autograph your hat, tell you where the fish are biting and ask
you over to their house for supper.
Buffy wears heels.
Bonnie Sue married one.
Biff subscribes to
the Wall Street Journal. BUBBA buys Guns and Ammo off the rack.
Indy car fans know
the party's over when the pate' runs out. Stock car fans know the party's
over when the police arrive.
Indy car drivers are
named Mario. Stock car drivers are named Fireball.
Indy car writers like
to pop a cork, sit around and discuss the new Penske chassis.
Stock car writers
like to pop a top, sit around and discuss Brooke's chassis.
Indy car writers sweat
and toll over award winning stories. Stock car writers worry about
explaining their expense accounts when they get back home.
