Arrives at track in a Volvo station
wagon.
Arrives at track in a converted school
bus.
Identifies his car with tennis ball
stuck on the antenna.
Identifies his truck with
an 8 x 12 Confederate Battle Flag.
Brings belongings in L.L. Bean tote
bag.
Brings belongings in Jack Daniel's
case.
Wears weejuns, chinos, and new Summer
Lights visor.
Wears shower thongs, cut offs, and
lucky Wynn's Friction-Proofing
hat from '68 race.
Complains about having to wait in line
at porta-john.
Brings his own.
Looks at the sky, and sees Carolina
blue.
Looks at the sky and sees Petty
blue.
Assumes that the chain link fence around
infield is to
Assumes chain link fence
around infield is to protect the protect fans from the cars.
cars from the fans.
Lunches on cream cheese and olive
sandwiches.
Lunches on 48 piece bucket of Colonel Sanders.
Brings handi-wipes for cleanup.
Thinks that's why tee shirts have sleeves.
Stops drinking while he is still
in control.
Stops drinking while he throws
up.
Listens to Chopin on Walkman.
Listens to Hank Williams, Jr. on jambox.
Envies fans watching race from
condominiums.
Feels sorry for those watching the race in condominiums.
Gets into an argument with passerby
about Bill and Hillary Clinton. Gets into an argument with
fans about Darrell Waltrip.
Says Indy 500 is a sporting classic.
Says
Indy 500 is kinda like a road race.
Says most admired woman in racing
is Shawna Robinson .
Says most admired woman in racing is Miss Winston.
Says Richard Petty was unethical
when he used an oversized engine. Says Richard Petty just got caught.
Has nightmares about nuclear war.
Has nightmares
about running out of beer.
Learns who won the race Monday
morning at work.
Watches end
of the race with binoculars.
